continuum_of_drs (
continuum_of_drs) wrote2007-05-24 05:26 pm
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
(no subject)
He'd been avoiding his previous selves. His previous selves and his ninth self--he reminded him too much of the heretofore amnesiac fellow who'd started the whole thing.
Eight hid--near the centre of the TARDIS, usually, or in areas close to. He contemplated going home. Home home. Just giving it all up and hiding there. Bollocks to the timestream. But it wouldn't work. No, if anything, that'd do more to ensure it happened than anything else he could possibly try.
And yet he ached to return, now. He'd hated the place for centuries and now, thanks to a revelation he never should have had, something pulled at his hearts to return home. To Gallifrey.
He hadn't slept for seven days. Couldn't.
And now he paced, nearing the end of what shred of strength he had, snared in an indecision. Go home or not?
Go home?
Stay?
Change history?
... This last possibility chilled him. It was remotely, ever so remotely, possible. With the presence of this Nexus of realities, it was possible. Dangerous, perhaps fatally so, but possible. He could ensure that the Time War never came to this conclusion. Could ensure that the Time Lords survived.
Would he do this thing?
On and on he paced.
Eight hid--near the centre of the TARDIS, usually, or in areas close to. He contemplated going home. Home home. Just giving it all up and hiding there. Bollocks to the timestream. But it wouldn't work. No, if anything, that'd do more to ensure it happened than anything else he could possibly try.
And yet he ached to return, now. He'd hated the place for centuries and now, thanks to a revelation he never should have had, something pulled at his hearts to return home. To Gallifrey.
He hadn't slept for seven days. Couldn't.
And now he paced, nearing the end of what shred of strength he had, snared in an indecision. Go home or not?
Go home?
Stay?
Change history?
... This last possibility chilled him. It was remotely, ever so remotely, possible. With the presence of this Nexus of realities, it was possible. Dangerous, perhaps fatally so, but possible. He could ensure that the Time War never came to this conclusion. Could ensure that the Time Lords survived.
Would he do this thing?
On and on he paced.
no subject
For a man who claimed he didn't need to sleep, Jack was looking well-worn and nervous after so many days spent on edge without any. He'd done little more than lurk near the center of the TARDIS and watch the Eighth Doctor not sleep either, but sometimes ventured out (after fighting a few times with the TARDIS, which seemed to like leading him to rooms with comfortable beds instead of where he intended to go) to check the current time, date, or state of his own sanity. It was on the most recent of such trips that he realized how hungry he was - and, as a natural conclusion, how hungry the Doctor must no doubt be - and returned with tea and chips, apparently not sparing a thought for how natively British he'd actually gone.
Jack found his way back to the center of the TARDIS - though not without a few wrong turns finding him in a few very inviting rooms with what looked to be very comfortable beds - and lurked in the doorway, just watching the Doctor pace for a few minutes. "Doctor?" he asked at last, wondering what the Time Lord was thinking so intensely about and whether or not he should interrupt. "...I brought tea." It seemed like a more graceful thing to say than chips, after all.
no subject
"Tea?"
no subject
"Yes, tea." He held up a thermos (which apparently contained tea), as if to punctuate his reply properly. Then, after a pause, he did the same with the styrofoam container. "And chips." Somehow, just somehow, Jack managed to project exactly how worried he was about the Doctor into four little words on the subject of food. The Doctor hadn't slept in days, probably hadn't eaten either, and Jack was afraid he was slowly pushing himself to and beyond a point of no return - pacing himself to death, wrought with a distress and sadness that could hardly be fathomed for an event not yet come to fruition but certainly set into motion by the resolute workings of time and space. Jack loved the Doctor, it seemed impossible not to, and sitting idly by - just watching and feeling useless - was killing him in a way he'd never died before, heart-wrenching and awful.
"...Please, Doctor."
no subject
And then it hit him. His time sense. It'd fogged itself, slipping from his consciousness. He had to think back and figure out how long he'd been wandering aimlessly about. Too long.
He poured a cup of tea, and walked a few paces away with it, his gaze distant again. His thoughts certainly weren't in the present.
no subject
Jack watched the Doctor pour himself a cup of tea - which was normal to the point of shocking, compared to the pacing and mumbling and gibberish - and opened the container to offer him some of the chips. "Do you...want to talk, Doctor? It's been days. A whole week, I think." Jack kept losing track of time, but that was just him being human and inside the TARDIS for a whole long stretch of time without going anywhere or doing anything but trying to look after the Doctor. Plus not sleeping, it did a number on his internal chronometer.
no subject
no subject
"I know what could happen," he answered, serious but - he'd nevertheless been thinking long and hard about this these past few days. "But I also know that this place - this Nexus - is different somehow. The rules don't apply here like they do in our universes, there's a chance, a small but statistically significant chance, that you could - " Jack stopped himself just there, a little disturbed by what he was saying and why he was saying it and where it would lead. There was a distinct and very real chance that it would all just end badly, that it would be fatal and accomplish nothing, and he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that if the Doctor decided to go, decided to try to change the future, that there was no way in hell that he'd let him go alone.
After a steadying breath and a moment spent trying to find a thread of logic, he spoke again. "As far as I'm concerned, we're already changing things just by being here - just by interacting - just by the things I've said and the things you've heard." God, was it possible for a single man to feel and look and be as guilt-ridden as Jack was at that moment? "Doctor, I know what will happen if we fail, but what if we don't? What if somehow being here and connected to this place makes it possible? It might be the smallest chance in hell, but trying - even against all odds - is always better than just doing nothing."
And, yes, Jack had interjected himself into this changing the future idea with that use of 'we' rather purposefully. Now, more than ever, he understood why the Doctor's older regenerations didn't want the Time War mentioned - this, trying to change the future, seemed suddenly like the only logical course of action. And he felt horrible for it.
no subject
And he couldn't bear it. He would insure that the universe and the vortex would still have this scourge because he couldn't bear to lose his home and his people, though they'd disowned him countless times, used him, persecuted him, shackled him with honour and responsibility, and then disowned him once more, and then grudgingly acknowledged him again. He would violate the laws he'd sworn, in varying capacities, to uphold. He would betray his people in a selfish effort to save them. And he saw no other alternative.
"It would mean averting the destruction of the Daleks ... again," he said breathlessly, pacing again. "Violating every law of time in an effort to make sure they continue to remain intact..." He wrapped his arms around himself, looking chilled despite the hot tea he'd just drunk. "No other way," he finished. The quiet string of syllables he followed that with had the sound of being the same phrase repeated, perhaps. His gaze wandered again.
no subject
The chips were - forgotten, somewhere, as Jack made a spontaneous movement to the Doctor, his gesture relegated to a light hand on the Time Lord's shoulder, perhaps just a little hesitant (given that the snogging of traumatized Time Lords was still fresh in his mind as a Very Bad Idea). And, yet, he was open - to embrace his friend, to provide warmth and comfort where hot tea could not - just by the way he stood, by the non-verbal communication of his stance and his body language and the concerned look that didn't want to ever leave his face. "No other way," Jack agreed. If it had been as simple as allowing the destruction of Gallifrey to ensure the destruction of the Daleks - the needs of the many, the universe, outweighing the needs of the new - it would not come down to this moment or this decision. But the Daleks endured, negating the sacrifice of Gallifrey entirely, and that painted a grim picture of the future, in Jack's opinion.
After an almost stilted little pause, he added in quiet, serious question, "You know I'm not going to let you do this on your own, right?" Just in case the Doctor hadn't been following his previous line of thought with the use of 'we' in regards to the plans being made.
no subject
no subject
"And I'm not a normal guy." He wasn't. He had absolutely no idea what was wrong with him, only that it was wasn't 'normal.' "You're not going this alone, Doctor."
no subject
He couldn't do it alone.
The objections collapsed and he almost did as well, but managed to at least stay upright. "... thank you," he he said quietly, and leaned against Jack. He seemed about to say more, but ... couldn't.
no subject
Jack reached out to catch the Doctor as he almost collapsed - pulling him closer as much as he leaned - and held him. He tried to comfort away the inability to say any more by stroking his hair and speaking softly. "Wouldn't have it any other way, Doc." That's what companions were for, wasn't it? To keep from facing the impossible alone.
no subject
"Can't do it alone," he murmured, exhausted.
no subject
no subject
But whatever his mind's objections, his body seemed to have different plans, and he slid slowly to the floor with a quiet mumble, his eyes almost closed.
no subject
He sank under the weight of the Doctor sliding to the floor, made a grunt of a protest, and struggled momentarily to pull the Doctor into his arms and haul himself back to his feet. Sleeping on the floor wasn't an option, so Jack would just have to carry the Doctor to his bed. Wherever that was. He sent an inquisitive thought to the TARDIS for a nudge in the right direction.
no subject
Jack really didn't even need to let the TARDIS know he was looking for someplace to put the Doctor. Corridor lighting and door placement guided him quickly enough to a room that looked and felt ... restful. Not terribly personalised, holding only a bed of esoteric design and insanely comfortable construction, but restful nonetheless. Airy and peacefully lit for an indoor room.
no subject
He worried over the very light way the Doctor felt in his arms as he followed, from sheer force of habit, the corridor lighting and door placement to the peacefully lit, but mostly bare, room. There, he laid the Doctor down on the bed and went about removing his shoes (and other such uncomfortable attire) before pulling a blanket up around him.
The bed looked comfortable - really comfortable - and the Doctor was a cause for worry, so was it any wonder Jack settled himself down, as well? He was just going to watch over the Doctor until the ridiculously comfortable bed lulled him to sleep.
no subject
no subject
no subject
The room felt content too.
no subject